Are You A Master of Self Neglect?
There is a wealth of material in circulation regarding personal growth and self-improvement yet often the most important aspect of our development is neglected-namely the self management principle and as women we can be absolute masters of self neglect!
It’s easy to fall into patterns of looking on the outside for all the answers and taking this route naturally we get caught up with the latest books, guru’s and self- confessed experts telling us the shortcuts we need to take to move forward at pace. We become pre-occupied with learning another skill, another sales technique, another social media platform at the expense of taking some action that starts the momentum of building our business and our personal confidence.
Self- investment only really pays off when you start listening to your own wisdom and develop an ability to trust yourself.
I see many students of personal development swopping one area of stress in their lives for another in this pursuit to be the best they can be and in wanting to bring about the material rewards of working for themselves to support their families.
Our world of difference is on the inside.
Often we start by genuinely desiring to make a difference in the world so we go about focusing all of our energy on supporting noble causes and those who need our help. We seek our fulfilment in providing the means for others to grow. Service is an honourable pursuit and one I advocate wholeheartedly yet not if it comes at the expense of our own health and well-being.
As women we’re naturally imbued with that nurturing and unifying energy that wants to help others yet we must learn to not put ourselves last in the line for love, attention, rest, relaxation and harmony.
So how do we get the right balance between being and doing, inner and outer direction?
In the end if we don’t start on the inside we’ll never have those much needed resources, the character traits and formidable substance we might refer to as resilience to enable us to keep going when nothing is certain in our physical reality.
It’s precisely this character that gets us through the period when we have no customers, no reputation and no brand as such to rely on.
The self management principle takes us inside ourselves to reveal the essence of all of who we are lightness and darkness, head and heart, fear and love. So the beginning of any journey of personal growth and development starts with self- discovery of who we really are and those all important and meaningful self-inquiry questions about why you’re here.
The self management principle teaches us that all important lesson which is this;
The quality of your relationship with yourself determines the quality of your relationship with success, happiness, love, money, time, health and indeed anything else for that matter.
Listening To Your Own Inner Wisdom-The Road Map Home
Our Starting Point-Self Discovery-Who Do You Want To Become and Why?
The journey inward gets us into our imaginations again and it’s in this place we can start to get inspired again and begin to build that all important clear vision of who we want to become and what we want to offer in the form of service to the world. We have to start to unravel the interconnection between our core values that will drive and fuel our efforts and teach us to focus on what’s truly important over what’s urgent and our belief constructs that will either support our self growth or sabotage our efforts.
I see many business brands not really practicing what they preach because they’re not aligned to their core value system. Their point of focus has been “doing stuff” without any real appreciation of whom they are actually being and their level of attraction.
Let’s take Barclay’s Bank as a point of example, it’s recently come to the surface that they’ve been selling their customer details here in the UK on to other companies at £50 a customer hardly a good idea in the first place but given it’s not that long ago it was fined for influencing libor rates it’s downright stupid. What makes the situation far worse is it preaches a core value of integrity…..I don’t think so somehow!
Reflection Point-Self Knowledge Builds Self Awareness for Personal Growth
The more we know and understand ourselves the better we’ll be at facing any challenges that get presented on our path. But more important than this it builds the much needed self-reliance so we can start to listen to our own voice of intuition that’s quietly and gently guiding us to follow that path of least resistance and showing us that “less is so much more”. In these depths we’re well placed to follow our own wisdom and joy and are less susceptible to so called experts who know best about how to grow our business or how to improve our relationships. At this point we’ve started to liberate and unleash our talent and potential.
Here’s where we start to see the real rewards for our labour because we start to make better business decisions about what’s right for us and who we want to work with.
Taking the High Road-Our Self Image Expands To Fit That Potential
Nothing ever develops on the outside without first being planted on the inside. For desires and ideas to grow we need to have fertile ground and the right environment to incubate and nurture as well as the nutrients to encourage self growth. So as our self-knowledge develops so does our perception and self-image. What once might have felt unbelievable and fantasy can now take form as we let go of old constructs starting with “not” such as not good enough/not clever enough/not confident/not deserving etc. “
Improving our self-image does wonders for our self-worth and self-esteem levels and it’s from this place that we start to value the services we provide and charge appropriately for our time.
Homeward Straight-Self Acceptance
The more we let go of the past the more able we are to stop making self-limiting decisions and as we start to make self-love a daily practice we start to get into our stride. Knowing that we are more than enough brings the wholeness, the balance and the harmony to achieve effortlessly and with grace. It deepens our connection with others because in transforming our inner reality we’ve brought about a necessary shift that brings that deeper connection, authenticity and ease with others. Any lack within ourselves will always result in a struggle of sorts whereas self-acceptance opens us up to feedback and a willingness to reach out and ask for help.
In business this is so refreshing because in the end people enjoy helping others and often are only waiting to be asked.
Full Circle Back to Service
Having a compelling vision of our future along with the necessary courage we’ve derived from letting go of the past and accepting all of who we are brings us full circle to service to others on whatever level. Yet this time it starts with us and ends with us.
In this place we’re not depleted of energy we’re full of passion and that’s the critical component to drive sustainable authentic personal and business success.
Next time we’ll look at self-importance, a possible outcome of personal and business success yet your total enemy!
