Personal growth begins with understanding the non-attachment principle.

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to accept the life that is waiting for us

Joseph Campbell

In all of us lie the answers to our own  personal and spiritual growth. We truly are our own best teachers  but first we need to master our first lesson, letting go of  all that no longer serves us.

This can be challenging in the extreme because we must first find and isolate the source of our real distress and that takes both time and courage. Addictions of any kind are merely coping strategies that help us deal with our deeper insecurities and feelings, some of which we maybe conscious of and some of which are unknown to us but which need to be discovered if we are to fulfill our potential.

Holding on is really nothing more than an excuse. It’s the fear of the unknown so we hold onto our past, or a relationship that has run its course or a job that we tolerate and all those bad habits that serve to keep us stuck, empty and depleted. We’ve become accustomed to acquiring stuff to make ourselves feel better and to doing stuff that give us standing, social respect and a feeling that we fit. Its a perpetual circle, the more empty we feel the more we rely on those addictions to make us feel better. The more out of control on the inside we feel the greater our desire to cling onto and control stuff and our relationships on the outside.

It’s impossible to breathe life into what is gone. We can only learn from our past mistakes and learn to navigate our life course in a different direction.

Happiness and joy is actually our natural state so if we’re not feeling that its an indication that we need to let go of something or someone. At the level of spirit we’re in a much better position to see whether our external reality is a false reality that we’ve created through years of indoctrinated conditioning and belief systems  we’ve inherited.

The irony is when we actually learn to let go , life gets a whole lot  simpler and more liberating in every sense. We ‘re now in a position to live with greater intention, purpose and appreciation because we’re free from struggle.

As we empty our cup it naturally fills back up and the more we’re aligned with our true natures the more it can overflow.

Acceptance changes everything. It’s the door to transition.

Letting go is really all about letting BE and this is the place of true transformation and personal growth because we begin to really understand tolerance, patience, kindness, empathy and open-mindedness. That’s a clarity that’s priceless.

We stop blaming and we work towards creating a better way for ourselves, families and the world at large.

It’s in this place  that we’re in the best possible position to lead others because we begin to really listen and seek to understand ,then empower.

Acceptance has nothing to do with weakness or that feeling of powerlessness against the injustices and cruelties of life. We now ask questions to understand why people do what they do before condoning their behaviour and in this place we’re in the best position to breakthrough our own bias and find lasting solutions.

Sometimes letting go is learning to wait and doing nothing. We don’t always have immediate answers to everything and often over-doing can just create unnecessary complications.

So how can we learn to let go?

1. Access your spirit.

If we can tap into our spirit then we’re well placed to make the leaps we desire and personal growth will happen. Working at the level of spirit we begin to ask more purposeful questions regarding who and what we want to become as well as the kind of legacy we want to leave behind. It naturally focuses our attention on serving others rather than being self absorbed with our own wants and needs. So start to ask yourself what you really want to do that would make a difference to others.

2. Tune into your feelings.

Recognise how you’re feeling moment to moment and ask yourself whether what you’re doing feels good.Forget how you’re supposed to feel and just tune into what is. Ask yourself whether what you do aids your well-being or not. Only you are in the position to know this because its more than moving towards pleasure and avoiding pain. After all, deciding to care for a dying partner is going to be painful but it can still aid our well being and our ability to grieve then heal what we’ve lost in the process. Eating chocolate all day ,whilst wonderful, will eventually lead to pain when we pile on the pounds and begin to self loathe.

3.Acknowledge the pain of letting go.

In our society it  has become accepted custom and practice to paint a smile on our face no matter what and to ignore and drown out what we feel. We numb ourselves in numerous ways, whether that’s the workaholic who will do anything to drown out that little voice inside or the addict who needs to get their next fix  just to get going in the morning or the control freak who hides their deep lonliness by telling others what to do . Recognising the underlying cause then grieving that loss is important. We might kid others for awhile but we never kid ourselves.

4. Take stock of what is holding you back.

At this stage we’re in more of a position to take some action and begin to identify what we can do to move us more to where we want to go and who can help and support us on the journey.That starts with being more of who we really are, in other words, accessing our unlimited power so we can dream and imagine a better way forward and align our thoughts and actions.

It makes perfect sense that the more comfortable we are being ourselves without walls the more attractive we become.

So what do you want to let go of  today?

Is it the need to control everything?

Is it the need to be right and to have the last word?

Is it the need to be perfect in all things?

Do yourself a favour, let go of all that baggage and your personal and spiritual growth will know no limits.

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In today’s post I want to talk about the practice of Kinesiology and the impact of a ground breaking book by Dr David Hawkins entitled Power verses Force .

Kinesiology is now a well established science based on testing of an all or none muscle response to stimuli. Positive stimulus provokes a strong muscle response and a negative stimulus results in an obvious weakening of the muscle. This response reflects a capacity of humans to differentiate not only positive from negative stimuli but also life enhancing from life consuming stimuli and true and false statements.In other words, the body never lies.

When the body is out of balance it becomes weak which shows up in the muscle testing process.

Kinesiology has proved to be reliably accurate, predictable, repeatable and universal.  In mass demonstrations, subjects universally tested weak in response to unmarked envelopes containing artificial sugar and strong to identical placebo envelopes.

Fast Tube by Casper

So kinesiology puts us in touch with our own inner guidance system, our unconscious mind. This brings clarity and a broader perspective. We do literally begin to evolve our consciousness and see our world differently.

Dr David Hawkins in his book ‘Power verses Force’ explains the consistency of kinesiology as a form of communal consciousness or database of consciousness. This is best understood when we apply quantum physics. This is the understanding that everything in the universe is energy and interconnected.

This allows us to tap into information and shared knowledge utilising senses other than our rational consciousness. It points to the human brain, as an amazing computer, at a primal level being linked with a universal energy field that knows far more than it knows it knows.

Hawkins used muscle testing to calibrate human levels of consciousness and after extensive testing over 20 years and testing thousands he came up with a scale of consciousness from 1 to 1,000 calibrating the degree of power of all possible levels of human awareness. The work begins to highlight the hidden forces that actually determine human behaviour and provides a useful insight into our personal development. It gives access to the workings of the mind and the spirit rather than just what can be seen at a physical level.

His synopsis is this, those who have learned to tap into a spiritual force have a greater level of evolved consciousness and enlightenment and all the positive associations of human behaviour that go with this label, such as utilising one’s own inner security as a reliable source of guidance, practising forgiveness and giving love unconditionally calibrate at the higher end of his spectrum.

The energy from the thoughts these individuals put out into the world is so powerful if is able to neutralise the more obvious negativity on the planet.

His work tells us that 85% of the world’s population calibrates at fewer than 200 the threshold of integrity. Fear calibrates at 100, shame at 20, love at 500 and enlightenment at 700.

Every great spiritual teacher or mystic has told us that we have the power to create everything we desire in our life provided we follow 2 things;

Firstly we must constantly study, understand and immerse ourselves in that which brings us power and secondly we must avoid at all costs that which weakens us.

Our natural state is power so if we are not totally alive and vibrant then we are doing something to disconnect us from our natural state of being.

If you want to change the energy of your life then you must change the thoughts you have. That starts by examining the influences on us that causes these thoughts.

Are we watching uplifting, inspiring material or poor TV content focused on violence and misery?

Are we listening to music that drowns our senses or engages our senses?

Are we spending time with people who uplift us or drain us?

Do we have positive role models to learn from and are we positive role models for our children?

There is energy in the food that we eat so if we want to maintain our health and our well-being and stimulate a positive mind state we need to consider the poisons we put into our bodies each day. Too much alcohol weakens the body.

Are our environments, our work places and our homes contributing to the positive energy around us or negating it?

What this an eye-opener?

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Feeling Invisible?

Do you ever feel seen yet not really heard or fully understood?
Or are people not noticing you and your many talents in the way they should?
This shows up in many ways;
You’ve been overlooked again for that well deserved promotion despite all your hard work.
Another year without a pay increase.
People forming all sorts of assumptions about you and what you value.
A lack of consultation regarding your needs and career path.
A partner and/or family members  that have begun to take you for granted.

The inspiration for this post comes from Kent Healey at Maxims for Mavericks ‘invisibility is the worst failure’ (acknowledgement where its due!)

At times, anyone of us can feel invisible and that our work, the family needs and anything else for that matter, takes priority.

Its a trait that many women share, because we’re naturally programmed and tuned in to nurture, support and care for others. We rarely focus on our own needs and when we do so, we often end up feeling guilty for taking the time out in the first place.
Is this you?
Have you been pretending that all is well in your world when underneath you’re feeling sad,lonely and depressed with your lot?
How often do you remain silent instead of speaking up for yourself and voicing what matters most to you?
How many times have you gone along with the wishes and desires of others even though you secretly want something else entirely ?
As we age we can often believe that we are no longer visible but visibility has little to do with sex appeal or youthfulness its about having that feeling of empowerment and that only really comes when we believe that we deserve to be noticed and we have something valuable to say .
Introversion aside,as Kent says; visibility is a choice.
Its a personal decision to get out there and to push past those fears.
Experiencing the ‘invisible’ feeling is really a reflection of how you’re treating yourself. It can be helpful to delve deeper and identify where this began.
This self limiting and self defeating behaviour is a likely consequence of failure in the past, ridicule perhaps and a general lack of appreciation for your own capabilities. It boils down to self worth and that can be easily eradicated when we hear what’s wrong with us too many times without balancing the positive.
The messages we tell ourselves are crucial along with the self awareness and understanding that comes from reflective effort. However, when you are able to express more of who you are rather than the person you feel you actually created to show up to others to survive and fit in, the, greater your visibility will become.
As you give your attention to the present moment you radiate a presence that gets noticed because you’re less in your head and altogether more authentic and alive.
When you can find your life purpose, something  that’s bigger than you that fuels the passion inside to finally find your voice you’re on the path to visibility.
Tips to Increase your visibility so you can thrive rather than just survive.

1. Develop an opinion

Work out what matters to you most, start by getting clear on your values and clarify whether they are aligned with your organisation.If they are,that’s great focus on how you can add value to your boss and the company at large.If they’re not, then what are you waiting for, develop a plan ASAP to get the hell out of there.

2. Don’t become a work horse.

You need to diarise free time to think, create, test and deliver your best work then devote energy to promoting it to the right people so you get the acknowledgement that you deserve.

3. Priotitse your efforts.

Its about focusing your time on the right things and what’s important not about trying to be all things to all people.This is all about learning to become the master of your work rather than letting it  takeover and control your life. Work life balance is your responsibility , you always have a choice.

4.Find a career coach/mentor.

Career management and advancement can be tricky. We need to be proactive in looking ahead , developing a network, taking care of our  personal development needs as well as doing a diligent and competent job right now.A career coach and mentor can offer you a much broader perspective in terms of objectivity, company culture and give you the visibility, accountability and platform you need.

All successful people understand the importance of seeking help,no one can afford to be  an island.

5. Learn how to promote yourself properly.

Visibility is built through client awareness,peer recognition and appreciation as well as ensuring that the leadership knows who you are and what you can offer . The greatest compliment regarding your value comes when you are sought out  for the next position either internally or externally.

6. Learn to stand out not fit in.

Talent always rises to the top , however, you won’t if you’re not aligned with your employer or playing to your natural strengths and abilities. When we can be  truly ourselves with the freedom to express our opinions then we have a much greater chance of displaying our uniqueness and creating the greatest impact..

If you are feeling like your career has been stagnating for too long or you know you need a career transition but haven’t the first clue on what you really want then why not book a career consultation, drop me a line here and we’ll have you thriving in no time at all.

Apparently recent statistics suggest that only 1 in every 50 women are totally happy with their bodies. That’s not surprising given societal pressure on staying slim and young so its easy to feel that once we hit our middle years we are way past our sell by dates but there is so much more to our natures to uncover and explore if we want to shine whatever our age.

Personally I ‘m all for the’ au natural’ look myself though happy to take as much non invasive help as available to hold back the years . I ‘m also a great believer in evolving your style choosing fashions that suit your figure and shape to make the most of your assets. I would certainly never point a finger at anyone who decides that surgery is the answer to regaining one’s confidence and vitality ,though, I believe that true confidence and radiance comes from inner depths of insight and the  awareness  and personal growth that comes from contemplation and reflection.

All wise women know this secret.

A makeover, new hair style or fashion item can all help but they are all only temporary feelgood factors. We’ve got to give the appropriate consideration to our energy, our health and vitality and that’s about an inside out approach as much as our external appearance, the physical exercise and healthy living focus . I firmly believe that if we all invested as much money and time in our own personal development and nurturing our own spirit as we do on our wardrobes and maintaining our looks then we’d all become the role models that the next generation of women need,namely, examples of independent free spirits stepping fully into our power to construct a more tolerant and connected society for all.

Women have plenty to offer the world.

Age is an attitude and we no longer need to be defined by our decades. Its high time that the stigma of aging and the media fueled fascination with youth and perfect looks is readdressed.

In ancient times older women were the keepers of primal mysteries and were revered for their special wisdom: today there is a feeling that our culture is reawakening to the power of our elders.

For wise women a midlife crisis isn’t about trying to recapture your youth its about realising your greatness.

Isn’t it time to celebrate the wisdom, intuition, empathy, connectedness, true confidence and authenticity we gain in our middle years through our self knowledge and our experiences?

We’re all living longer, and older women are the largest demographic in the world.If we can all focus on continued development  unhampered by our past we can make a dramatic impact in the world .

That’s a brilliance that’s reflected externally through forthright and honest dialogue,clarity of values and beliefs that fuels a courage to express and fight for, a twinkle in the eyes that reveals a sort of knowing and a more centred, less judgemental attitude.

Now that’s a confidence that attracts and commands both attention and respect from all ages.

That’s what aging offers- personal growth and a journey back to our ‘whole’ selves free from limitations and restrictions and the prejudices of others.

Now isn’t that clarity worth having?

Whatever your age, learn more about the third act and the staircase of age by Jane Fonda, a  wise women sharing with us all what’s possible in terms of how we can feel, think and act as well as look in our latter years!

Fast Tube by Casper

If you follow this blog then you’ll appreciate my philosophy on true wealth which is essentially abundance in all aspects of our life. Someone once said that true wealth is what you have left when you’ve lost all your finances. I’m a great believer that wealth starts on the inside and works its way out.

Of course as women we need to have healthy finances to meet our requirements and better still a surplus to enjoy all that life has to offer whilst contributing to worthy causes so in this regard we need to think in the right way about ourselves and our ability to create financial wealth and ultimately financial freedom.

Suze Orman is one of America’s leading bestselling authors on the subject of wealth ,financial freedom and  prosperity consciousness. Here is a quote from her book;

‘’Besides money, a wealthy woman has some qualities that serve as guideposts to make sure she’s always walking toward wealth rather than away from it. ‘’

Here are the eight qualities and how they can translate into financial freedom:

1. Harmony and balance.

Harmony is the agreement between what you think, say, and do. Balance is the state of stability in which you’re able to make sound judgments that will enhance your financial security. Let’s say you preach the virtues of having sound financial control and an appreciation for scrutinising others spending habits yet borrow so deeply yourself to finance the lifestyle of your dreams it leaves you in dire circumstances each month then, you forsake harmony and balance . Aligning your thoughts, words, and actions will put you on a path to balance and emotional and financial well-being.

2. Wisdom and courage.

The ability to make, as opposed to just think about, sensible decisions that respect your needs takes wisdom. That’s the voice of experience that’s inside each woman. Courage is the catalyst that creates harmony by uniting our thoughts with our actions. It is what lets us assert our opinions confidently. Let’s take the example of a situation at work where you feel that sound judgement with regard to finances has been compromised. It’s the wisdom and courage inside of you that speaks up, whistle blows on wrong doing and bad practices.

3. Generosity and happiness.

True generosity must benefit both parties. No woman can control her destiny if she doesn’t give to herself as much as she gives of herself. Sometimes it might seem like the most generous and right thing to do when we bail out another person financially, especially if they are our children, parents or siblings. However whilst those acts seem helpful, they leave you financially at risk. Happiness manifests itself through generosity—when, for example, a woman makes donations that help others yet don’t deplete her.

4. Cleanliness and beauty.

Removing clutter and chaos from our lives brings insight, which makes it easier to achieve what we want. From emptying closets of unused stuff to streamlining your wallet, cleanliness and order is a sign that you’re in control. It reflects a clear and focused mind.

So start with getting harmony and balance in your life which can bring the required courage to make better and wiser choices. As you begin to sort your own house out you’re then in a position to act with generosity to others financially and we know that when we give without expecting anything in return we always feel that we’ve benefited far more than merely receiving good things. This is the kind of authentic happiness that brings true wealth and abundance to us.

We all deserve financial freedom and the ability to live life on our own terms, practice these 8 qualities and you too will have true wealth but most importantly, pass on these lessons to other women so they too can develop an abundant mindset .